My other half
I recently celebrated my 7-year wedding anniversary. That is to say, I have had a better half for 7 years. I have become increasingly fond of her in those seven years. We have grown to accept and even cherish each other’s oddness. But I don’t often talk about her, mainly because she enjoys privacy, but also because I often lack the words to adequately describe how I’m feeling. That last part is obviously a poor excuse since anyone who knows me knows that I can talk for hours about pretty near anything, so long as I have a cursory understanding of the subject that is. But it comes down to the same recurring theme…practice makes proficient.
See, I can talk about Star Wars or video games or forging or golf or construction because I either have a long-standing love of it, or it is something I must be knowledgeable on for work or hobby. Expressing my feelings toward, or about my wife is something I never really had to worry about before marriage. Sure, I knew the buzz words and off-limit topics when it came to relationships, but for the most part, those relationships were devoid of any real substance. True commitment to another person requires you to push past what is comfortable, often moving directly towards the path of MOST resistance.
And no, I don’t mean bashing your’ head into a brick wall expecting pillows to greet you, I mean getting out of your own way so you can learn how to be a better version of you. My wife is not perfect, obviously, but there isn’t really a need for anyone to be perfect. She is, however, amazingly humble and gracious. Not to mention hilarious and stunningly beautiful. So, this blog is about her. Because I find it easier to communicate in writing (I know she will read this), and because she deserves it. So, for the sake of your eyes and patience, I will only cover the four attributes I mentioned above.
For starters, she is almost humble to a fault. She is incredibly talented, and incredibly hard on herself. She is the personification of someone being their own worst critic, but we are working on that. She is a great photographer and was going to school to be a formally educated photographer when she met me. Shortly after our whirlwind romance, we found out that we were pregnant. We both had to make grown-up choices. Mine was to find employment that provided something more than pocket money, and hers was committing to be a stay at home mom. And because we were not planning to get pregnant, we had nothing set aside for such an unbelievable undertaking. She sacrificed the last semester of her degree to focus on being the best mother she could be to our beautiful daughter, and she hasn’t stopped since. We now have a son as well, and she is the proudest momma I think I’ve ever known. I also need to mention that she is an accomplished baker, I have the spare tire to prove it…but we are also working on that. She feels so overwhelmed when she does research to get new ideas for cakes or cookies because everyone is showing their best, and only their best. But she is so talented and genuine that it pains me to watch her struggle with confidence. I must admit she has made great strides though. She will at least admit now that she does have potential.
As for her graciousness…well, she puts up with me. That alone should earn her the Mother Theresa badge. But aside from that, she is endlessly willing to help friends and loved ones, even if it means setting aside her own needs. She is patient (although she might disagree) with our children. She is constantly looking for ways to enrich or improve the lives of those around us. And really, I am not the easiest person to get along with. But we do get along when it comes to laughter.
One of the first things that we connected with when we first met was comedy. While our likes do not line up seamlessly, there is enough overlap to last a lifetime. She herself is no snooze when it comes to group settings. She is quick witted and universal when it comes to humor. I know she’s going to kill me for this, but she has a spot on Meatwad impersonation. There isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t light up our home with laughter, and I love her for that. Speaking of lighting up rooms…
Finally…GORGEOUS!!! I mean gorgeous. And I don’t mean airbrushed cover girl gorgeous, I mean 100% homegrown naturally beautiful. If her humor doesn’t light up a room, her beauty most definitely does. I realize beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I get that not everyone has the same taste, but for me, she is the pinnacle. She has this never ending naturally blonde hair that she gets compliments on all the time. But for me, it’s the smile. When she smiles, I forget words. It is the most incredible phenomenon that I can think of.